Sometimes I wonder if actually helping my kids learn how to have love/empathy towards each other. I take them to the park, and my son pushes his little sister over. Recently at the park, my son was continuing in the same behavior. After telling him to stop pushing her multiple times, I gave him a boundary. One more time you push her, and we go home.
Guess what happened? He pushed her and looked at me. We went home right after. On the way home, he apologized and said, "I'm sorry for pushing mommy".
I then questioned myself, "am I doing anything right with my kids". Why can't the pushing go away completely?
Later in the day, my son wanted to build the extra excavator that he got from Home Depot's Kid Workshop today. He made his excavator yellow and black, and then he told me about how his sister needs more toys (specifically her own excavator).
We got our toolbox out, and he helped me hammer the nails. When it got to painting, he told me about how she would love it if it was pink and purple. We ended with an excavator for him and his sister. He was proud and excited to give it to his sister.
When she woke up from her nap, he told her about how he had a surprise for her and ran to give her the pink excavator. She held it in her arms and hugged it.
My son giving his sister, one of of his prized possessions in her favorite color was so sweet to watch his pure excitement. He was thinking about her needs and tried to do in a way that was special to her.
One thing I have learned from watching my children is that do love each other in a pure way. Yes, there is fighting and pushing. When she does step on the train track, I know what the reaction will be. But at the end of the day, the love between them is the sweetest to watch.
Families provide the environment to learn how to love. You don't get to choose your parents or your siblings. Your parents and extended family can drive you crazy. It is the ultimate ground to learn how to forgive, accept differences and provide support in difficult circumstances.
Siblings provide the relationship that teaches them how to share. You can learn how to share at school or different types of activities or programs. But, I think that learning how to share within the home environment is the most difficult.
I am going to remind myself next time that helping my children develop love and sympathy takes time. It won't happen over night. But, I will savor these moments.
Because love is simple. Love is making your sister a pink excavator.
Comments
Post a Comment