Let's Just Be Human Today
During my first year as a therapist at a new high school, I was newly married and freshly licensed with an eagerness to prove myself. The school was known for high turnover among therapists due to the high stress and number of risk assessments. My new boss had warned me how difficult it would be to succeed there, and once I started working, I saw exactly what she meant.
I had a wonderful coworker who was supportive. I’m guessing she didn’t want me to leave, since that had been a common pattern among new hires. Her mentorship was essential to my staying at the school. We had mini supervision talks throughout the week as hard cases came up, and she would remind me that I was doing great. That validation kept me going.
One day, I walked into her office to eat lunch and ask for advice about a case that involved a lawsuit. I was unsure how to move forward. I started asking her questions, and the first thing she said was, “Let’s just be human today.”
I paused, curious about that statement. She smiled and said, “I just want to see how you’re doing. What’s new in your life?”
So we talked about ourselves, about life outside of work. It was a good reminder that my human needs mattered too. I couldn’t show up to work in constant high stress and still expect to show up for my clients. I needed to take care of myself.
Fast forward to this week: it’s been rough, filled with mixed emotions and heavy events. I’ll feel fine one moment, and then my emotions seem to crumble, leaving me defeated and hopeless. I keep asking myself, How should I move forward with these events that are outside of my control?
The first thing that comes to mind is my coworker’s comment: “Let’s just be human today.”
I know I’m not the only one who feels weighed down by heavy things right now. So this is a reminder to myself, and hopefully to others, about a few ways to cope when life feels overwhelming.
Give Yourself Space to Just Be
When complicated and painful emotions arise, allow them to simply exist. Trying to remove or suppress them often makes them worse or causes them to show up elsewhere in your life.
This isn’t a natural process, it’s uncomfortable to sit with heavy emotions because they bring pain and distress. We don’t want to feel negative feelings, so we rush to get rid of them. But the goal isn’t to eliminate them; it’s to accept them without letting them take charge.
What does this look like? It might sound like saying to yourself, “It’s okay that I’m feeling (insert emotion).” Giving yourself permission to feel a certain way reduces inner conflict. It helps you find peace and observe your emotions rather than become them. Your emotions are a part of you, but they don’t define you.
Getting to this point takes time and often, support. If you need someone to help you sit with those feelings, reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist.
There’s also a fine line between accepting emotions and ruminating on them. Rumination involves repetitive thinking or dwelling on negative experiences, which can feed anxiety and depression. Learning the difference between giving emotions space and getting stuck in them can be tricky.
One strategy that helps me is giving my emotions a time limit to take charge. Yesterday was a hard day. I told myself it was okay to have a bad day. I made it through without much irritation, but by evening, my ability to cope was gone. I apologized to my husband for being short-tempered and told myself I’d try to be in a better space tomorrow. Today, I still feel some of the same emotions, but I’m more in control. They’re not running the day anymore.
Find Your Grounding Spaces
Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel, the next step is finding ways to anchor yourself in the present moment.
Grounding is a mindfulness technique that helps you recenter. There are many ways to do this by using your five senses, mindful breathing, guided meditation, or visualization. The goal is to bring your focus back to what’s here and now.
Even when the trigger or stressful event is ongoing, you can pause and ask: Where am I right now? What’s happening in my environment? It reminds you of what’s still in your control. You can control your breathing, how you move your body or your breath, and how you use your time.
I also like to pair grounding with an activity that brings me calm and balance including a hobby, sport, spiritual practice, social interaction, journaling, or listening to certain songs.
Personally, being out in nature is one of my grounding practices. When I’m out in the redwoods, I love looking up at the tops of the trees. I love to notice how each one is shaped differently. I love watching how the light filters through the grove. It slows me down and fills me with gratitude for the beauty of the earth.
As a mom, it’s not always easy to get outside for long hikes or to visit my favorite spots. But I’ve learned to find smaller, daily ways to connect with nature and recenter myself, because even little grounding moments matter.
Establish and Maintain Boundaries
Sometimes grounding isn’t enough, especially when stressors keep finding their way in. That’s where boundaries come in.
You know yourself best, and you know your limits. If reading the news or scrolling social media triggers anxiety, set a boundary. Maybe that looks like setting a timer for how long you’ll engage, or designating certain times of day to check in.
Try writing down your boundaries and checking in after a week:
How did it feel to follow them?
What changed in your mood or mental health when you did (or didn’t)?
Boundaries protect your peace. They’re not walls to shut the world out, they’re lines that keep your energy focused on what truly matters.
Care for Your Simple Human Needs
When we’re under high stress, our bodies shift into fight-or-flight mode. In that heightened state, our simplest needs often get ignored.
It sounds basic, but ask yourself:
Am I drinking enough water?
Getting enough sleep?
Eating balanced meals?
Taking care of my hygiene?
When deeper mental health symptoms arise, these human needs are often impacted. We might sleep too much or not enough. We might overeat or lose our appetite completely.
Beyond physical needs, we also crave connection, belonging, and being seen. I’m grateful for my coworker who saw me not just as an overwhelmed new employee but as a person. She helped me through tough cases, More importantly, she reminded me of my own humanity.
Her simple phrase, “Let’s just be human today,” has stayed with me for years. It reminds me that healing often starts with the smallest acts of care, for ourselves, and for one another.
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