Finding Joy in Uncertainty: Lessons from COVID
Routines. We thrive on them, but sometimes they make life feel monotonous. We crave variety, we break our routines for excitement, and then we yearn for their comfort again. During COVID, I learned just how deeply routines ground us—not just adults, but kids too. I remember listening to a training during that time about how the sudden loss of routine was a major trigger for kids’ anxiety. Everything became unpredictable. I didn’t just understand it professionally—I felt it in my own life.
The Start of It All
My introduction to COVID was surreal. In March 2020, I went to Israel—yes, right before the world shut down. Before I left, a friend told me she thought things would be “temporary” as she dropped us off at the airport. There were questions about whether or not we should even go in the trip, but we all felt fine. We just needed to bring masks for the plane ride. My husband and I arrived early, so we could go to Petra and do some individual traveling before the big group came. We arrived to the Tel Aviv airport, and we got a text that the trip was canceled. We didn't know what to do, but fortunately, we found out that it was not true. What a relief.
We had a great trip. I crossed off a bucket list of going to Petra. On the way back to Israel, a couple of people ended up joining our bus because there was a shutdown of the borders in Jordan that night. We made it back to Israel an hour before the borders closed. We were able to see most things on our tour, but places in Israel started to close. People in our group started finding out that their flights were canceled if they had a layover in Europe. Luckily, we had a direct flight from Tel Aviv to San Fransisco, so we didn't have to find a flight last minute. We caught the last flight from Tel Aviv to San Francisco before flights were canceled altogether back to the US. Once we got home from the airport, we found out that they were going to do the shutdowns. I still remember rushing to Costco to just make sure we would have food in our fridge. Luckily, we even got toilet paper.
Learning to Work in a New World
Back home, everything shifted overnight. As a school therapist, my job went fully remote. First, we thought we’d be back after spring break. Then, by the end of the school year. Then, who knew?
I had to learn how to do therapy online, something I had never been comfortable with. We scrambled to review telehealth laws, learned how to keep kids engaged over Zoom, and even did assessments virtually. For many students, therapy felt like another forced screen obligation. I felt like I was working twice as hard to build connection through a screen.
I had to increase my creativity to keep my students interested in talking to me. I attended trainings and would google about interactive ways to use zoom. It felt awkward and uncomfortable for the students and for me at times.
Finding Joy in the Chaos
At home, my husband and I were grateful to have each other. We had been married for less than a year. I kept thinking about how lucky our wedding was the previous summer, rather than the summer in 2020. Our small apartment felt even smaller with two people working remotely, so we sought ways to break up the monotony. We tried to find new board games to play that were two players. We played just dance, and would go on walks after work. We built a fort and watched every Indiana Jones movie. We took car rides to the beach. We had silly dance competitions with family on Marco Polo. We played lots of games online with our friends and family.
Those little moments became our lifelines. They reminded me that even in the middle of so much uncertainty, joy doesn’t have to disappear, it just looks different.
What I Saw as a Therapist
Meanwhile, my work was heavy. So many kids were struggling. Loneliness skyrocketed. I saw an increase in suicidal ideation, and I understood why: their routines had vanished, friendships were distant, and their homes were filled with stressed-out parents trying to manage work, school, and their own mental health.
I often felt stretched thin and inadequate. I felt like there was nothing I could do to help the kids at times. The amount of kids coming in for assessments due to safety concerns increased. Sometimes, I felt powerless. How could I support them when I was struggling too? Yet, showing up—imperfectly—was sometimes enough.
It was hard to provide reassurance to my students when I had no reassurance to give about normalcy. We often focused on things that they could control. The questions and fears were still there. Would they be able to go back in school in person? It changed every couple of weeks. They started to get comfortable at home, and then the idea of going back to school was so nerve wracking, that I saw social anxiety increase. How do you interact with people again in a classroom setting after being on a computer screen for a year? The kids who transitioned into high school, and missed their freshman year struggled a lot. It was already a hard transition, but now going to a campus with kids you have only see online felt like it was impossible.
Our jobs became about preparing the kids for in person returns. We would normalize fears, and try to provide coping strategies for social anxiety and depression. The return back to school was rough. Lots of opinions and fears about what it should look like. Walking back on school campus felt like a ghost town at first. It was strange that something that felt so normal before was so foreign.
What I Learned
Looking back, I realize that COVID taught me how to live in uncertainty and still find joy. It reminded me how deeply we all need connection, and how even small, silly moments can sustain us through hard times. It helped increase my gratitude for the people in my life.
Life was hard and unpredictable, but I had a loving husband and family who we could quarantine with. They helped make things feel somewhat normal, and gave me things to look forward to. When the world felt shutdown, and there was orange skies from the wildfires, I had a family there to laugh with and simply say, "this is weird". I realized that I was lucky enough to have that. Working with my students gave me a deeper gratitude that my family was supportive and fun-loving.
It taught me that having routines is important. The sense of predictability made me and my students feel safe. The lack of routines made days merge into each other, where sometimes it felt like no end.
Having something to look forward to is critical even if it is small. Sometimes during that time period, we would try to make something different to make it fun. When we made the fort to watch movies, it was simply just to make it unique rather than watching another movie on our couch.
Hopefully the world learned that hoarding toilet paper is not necessary. That was just crazy. There should be enough toilet paper for everyone to use.
I'm not wanting to have another COVID experience, but if I do, I know to lean into my family and friends. Show love to each other, and make sure to buy water bottles before they're all gone at Costco.
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